While I'm trying to do a better job at this, I have to admit that I do fail at times. The title of today's entry was actually said to me recently. Now, the context in which it was said is much different than the context in which it is meant today.
I've done a pretty good job of destressing my life over the last 7 years. I found that it really takes a conscious decision though. I, at times, have to make the conscious decision to not let the stuff bother me that I can do nothing to change. I, at times, have to make the conscious decision not to get caught up in conversations of judging others. I, at times, have to make a conscious decision not to START conversations of judging others. I, at times, have to make a conscious decision not to throw my two cents worth in when it's no one has asked me for it. (Chris....STOP TALKING).
It's all part of destressing. If I'm allowing things to bother me that I can not change, then I'm creating my own stress. I may not be able to control what's happening, but I can control how I react (or don't react) to it.
If I'm getting caught up in conversations of judging others then I'm stressing about their actions, even when their actions don't affect me. I have no control over what someone else chooses to do or not do or how they choose to act. But I can control my reaction to it. I also need to remember that things are seldom as they appear on the surface, and conversations judging others are usually based on partial information and speculation, so those who are taking part in that are usually stressing over things that aren't even accurate anyway.
If I'm starting conversations of judging others...ditto.
It's a process...I'm far from perfect. I'm better than I used to be, but one other thing I've learned. I can't judge myself based on others. I have to base my performance, my life, my accomplishments and my failures on my values. Not on anyone else's values. But more importantly, I can't judge others based on my beliefs, my accomplishments or my failures. The only one who has a right to judge another is that person (or a judge). At the end of my life I will believe that I will be judged by God. It will not matter to God what I did in comparison to others, only what I did and how I lived my life. It will not matter to God what others' opinions of me are, but how what I did formed those opinions. It will not even matter what my minister or other members of my church think about how I lived my life, but how I actually did live it.
God also doesn't much care what I think of how Joe Smith or Jane Doe live their lives. That's between them and God. God has yet to ask me my opinion of anyone.
I'm not perfect. The conversations will happen. On occassion I will throw my two cents worth in to the conversation. This isn't to say that it's always wrong to do. Sometimes throwing in my two cents is done to remind people that they don't have all the facts, and maybe before they judge, they should base their opinions on facts rather than their own speculation. But sometimes my two cents worth is based on my own speculation and not on facts, so I'll continue to try to do better. I hope we all will try to do better.
I'll try to remember to STOP TALKING and do a better job of listening. Not just hearing, but listening.
Thanks Lauren.
I've done a pretty good job of destressing my life over the last 7 years. I found that it really takes a conscious decision though. I, at times, have to make the conscious decision to not let the stuff bother me that I can do nothing to change. I, at times, have to make the conscious decision not to get caught up in conversations of judging others. I, at times, have to make a conscious decision not to START conversations of judging others. I, at times, have to make a conscious decision not to throw my two cents worth in when it's no one has asked me for it. (Chris....STOP TALKING).
It's all part of destressing. If I'm allowing things to bother me that I can not change, then I'm creating my own stress. I may not be able to control what's happening, but I can control how I react (or don't react) to it.
If I'm getting caught up in conversations of judging others then I'm stressing about their actions, even when their actions don't affect me. I have no control over what someone else chooses to do or not do or how they choose to act. But I can control my reaction to it. I also need to remember that things are seldom as they appear on the surface, and conversations judging others are usually based on partial information and speculation, so those who are taking part in that are usually stressing over things that aren't even accurate anyway.
If I'm starting conversations of judging others...ditto.
It's a process...I'm far from perfect. I'm better than I used to be, but one other thing I've learned. I can't judge myself based on others. I have to base my performance, my life, my accomplishments and my failures on my values. Not on anyone else's values. But more importantly, I can't judge others based on my beliefs, my accomplishments or my failures. The only one who has a right to judge another is that person (or a judge). At the end of my life I will believe that I will be judged by God. It will not matter to God what I did in comparison to others, only what I did and how I lived my life. It will not matter to God what others' opinions of me are, but how what I did formed those opinions. It will not even matter what my minister or other members of my church think about how I lived my life, but how I actually did live it.
God also doesn't much care what I think of how Joe Smith or Jane Doe live their lives. That's between them and God. God has yet to ask me my opinion of anyone.
I'm not perfect. The conversations will happen. On occassion I will throw my two cents worth in to the conversation. This isn't to say that it's always wrong to do. Sometimes throwing in my two cents is done to remind people that they don't have all the facts, and maybe before they judge, they should base their opinions on facts rather than their own speculation. But sometimes my two cents worth is based on my own speculation and not on facts, so I'll continue to try to do better. I hope we all will try to do better.
I'll try to remember to STOP TALKING and do a better job of listening. Not just hearing, but listening.
Thanks Lauren.
You're welcome, Chris.
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