My First Dancesport Event and My 34th Running State

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to compete in my first Ballroom Dance Competition.  It was really more of a late find for me.  I was originally going to compete in Cincinnati in early January, but that had to be scrapped due to some unforeseen circumstances.  Having the first weekend off in February, I started looking for a competition and was fortunate to find the Denver Dancesport Jam.  A couple other advantages to this competition was that it fell on my birthday and it happened to be in a state where I had yet to run a race.

In early December I spoke to my instructor about making the Denver Dancesport Jam my first competition and she agreed to go.

For the next couple of months I did what I could to increase my lesson and practice time.  Two weeks before the competition my instructor also let me know that she had signed me up for a dance that I had very little experience with.  Right up until I was actually on the floor dancing, I was afraid I was going to mess up the steps.

At the end of the day, I competed in twelve dances and took first place in all twelve.  Now, to be fair, I was contested by one other person in the first six dances, and was uncontested in the other six (although I prefer to think of it as 'incomparable').  My main goal for this competition was simply to compete and not make a complete fool of myself on the floor.  Mission accomplished!  I was happy with how I did, although once I started watching the videos with a more critical eye, I did see so many mistakes that I should not have been making at this point.

As for the competition itself, it was very well organized and stayed right on time throughout.  My instructor had never been to this competition, so she was unsure what to expect. The dance floor was great, and the fact that it was the exact same size as the floor where I've been taking my lessons, made it a bit more comfortable.  Given how nervous I was through the weekend, anything that could make things even a bit more comfortable was a plus.

I can't thank Emily Mertens, my instructor, enough for preparing me for this event.  It was last May when I first expressed my interest in competing in ballroom dance, and I've been so impressed with the professionalism and passion she displays in her dancing and her teaching.  It was that passion that grew my interest and took me from taking a few group dancing lessons to taking private lessons, to wanting to be on the dance floor as much as possible.

The next day, before flying back to Ohio, Emily and I ran the Superbowl 5K together at Washington Park in Denver.  This made the 34th state in which I've run a race.  Having never run or trained at altitude, I knew that I was not going to try to run a half marathon in Denver, so having a 5K scheduled in Denver the day after the Dancesport Jam worked out well.  I was able to combine both my passions, running and dancing, in to a single weekend.  Although my time for the 5K was much slower than any 5K I've ever run, it was a fun event and also very well organized.

As I continue towards my goal of running a race in all 50 States, I also have another passion that will have me travelling the country.  I won't be trying to compete in a ballroom dance competition in all 50 States.  That's not even a possibility.  But my instructor is the person who first mentioned to me combining my two passions, so when I can combine a dance competition trip with a running trip, I'll make it happen.

I will also take the time for a bit of a plug also.  Emily Mertens owns Ballroom Dance Experience of Ohio.  She teaches group lessons in both Dublin and Upper Arlington, hosts social dance parties in partnership with Topline Ballroom and Event Center in Worthington and teaches private lessons around the Central Ohio area.  She is a wonderful instructor and has introduced me to a world that I would have never realized existed had it not been for taking that first step back in October of 2016.

Don't be a Debbie/Doug Downer.

As I finished 2017 and started 2018 I had found myself in a bit of a funk.  Not really sure why, as I find the Christmas and New Year holiday season to be one of my most cherished times of the year.  I found myself having to remind myself of something I tell my students when I teach.  You choose your mood. 

If you have known me for any length of time, you have probably heard me say this.  I am a firm believer that for at least 95% of the time you have the power to choose to be in a good mood.  So why be in a bad mood if you can simply choose the opposite?  There are some people out there who seem to thrive on always being in a bad mood.  If I'm in a good mood, nobody really pays attention to me.  They can tell by the way I interact with them that I'm in a pretty good mood.  But if I'm in a bad mood, then people pay attention.  Think about it...people are asking "Are you ok?"  "What's wrong?" "Why so glum?".  No one ever asks, "Why so happy?" So if you're in a bad mood, grumpy, sad, feeling down, feeling sorry for yourself...then the attention comes your way. 

I admit that I used to do it myself occasionally.  Until I got called on it.  One of those times when I was feeling sorry for myself a friend finally got sick of hearing it.  She told me to suck it up.  If I wasn't happy with the way things were...change them.  It was a wake up call for me.  It made me realize that I was making myself miserable.  The circumstances weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse.  The circumstances could be changed.  The people weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse.  I could change the people I chose to surround myself with.  The weather wasn't making me miserable....it was an excuse.  I could change the wea....OK..well I couldn't change the weather.  But I could change the way I reacted to nearly every situation. 

Circumstances around any person on any given day can give that person a reason to be in a bad mood.  I could look at the weather outside and focus on how cloudy it is.  It's raining/snowing/sleeting.  On top of that, I'm stuck here at work for a 16 hour shift.  Or, I can think about the fact that it is above the freezing mark for the first time in a while.  The rain is washing all of the salt and crud off of my car and off of the roadway.  The running paths will be clear of snow and I can hit the trails again soon. 

I hear some people in my head right now saying, "Easy for you to say...you don't have my life."  You're right, it is easy for me to say.  You're right, I don't have your life.  But I know this, most of those people could find the cloud in any silver lining.  If  you're always the one complaining, if you are always the person looking for the mistakes others make or the worst of any situation, please don't be surprised when I distance myself.  That's simply me "choosing my mood." 

Now this does not mean that, simply because you happen to be in a bad mood, that I'm going to cut you off.  Not at all.  I'm going to be there for the people who are close to me.  But if you are always a Debbie or Doug Downer, always finding the cloud in the silver lining, always looking for the worst in any situation, then I have to protect myself.  There's a difference between selfishness and self-preservation.

2017 In Review

 1 - What did you do in 2017/will you do in 2018, that you have never done before?

Well, I think I'd have to say that I stepped outside my comfort zone a lot more in 2017 than I ever have in the past.  My continued immersion in to the world of ballroom dancing grew in ways I never expected.  It went from just learning how to do something different to going to several social dance events and beginning private lessons in order to become a better dancer and to get involved in ballroom dance competitions.  In 2018 I will further that journey, with plans to compete at Dancesport events in Denver, Indianapolis, Atlanta and Columbus.

2 - Did you keep your New Years Resolutions and will you make more for 2018?

I made three resolutions for 2017.  One was to run at least 1200 miles, which I did not accomplish.  The second was to run at least one mile every day this year.  I was going well in to March, but a couple days of sick time ended that streak.  The third was to get my weight down to 240 lbs.  While I did lose some weight, and continue to lose, it does not appear that I will get to the 240 mark before the end of the year.
As for 2018, yes I do think I'll make resolutions.  And I know this may come as a shock, but I have no doubt that running and dancing will be part of that.

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

On November 1 my best friend's daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  If I'm not seeing pictures and videos posted to Facebook, I do get pictures sent to me by Carey.  The little girl is adorable, and it's such a joy to be able to watch her as she begins discover the world around her.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

I'm a little nervous to answer that question since the year isn't over with.  Not that I'm expecting it to happen in the next couple of weeks, but why tempt fate.  I did have someone I know who had a death in his family this week and I continue to keep him and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

5 - Which countries did you visit?

Stayed in the United States again in 2017.  There are some trips I'd like to take outside the U.S. in the future.  I'm not sure if I will leave the country in 2018.  I did take a few trips this year going to New York, Louisiana, Mississippi and Washington for running events.

6 - What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017.

Part of that answer is a little too personal to share in this blog.  Overall I'm in pretty good shape though.  I've got what I need.  I could always use more, but I think I've had a pretty blessed year.

7 - What dates in 2017 will remain etched in your memory?

I don't know if "etched" is the right word.  But March 24, May 24 and November 1 were three dates this year that meant a lot to me.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Completing my 6th marathon in New York was an accomplishment that I'm proud of.  I'm also happy with where I've come with dancing.  I'm not a great dancer.  Not sure I would even consider myself to be good dancer.  But I'm better today than I was on January 1.  But it's not really about the dance "skills" so much as it is about my willingness to get way outside my comfort zone through dancing.  I don't know if the people I know through dancing can really appreciate just how far outside my comfort zone dancing has taken me.

9 - What was your biggest failure of the year?

I still tend to get sucked in to the negative from time to time.  I still talk about others at times when I should be focusing on myself.  I think I've done a little better, but as long as it still happens, it's still a failure on my part.

10 - Did you suffer illness or injury this year?

Another question I want to be careful with.  No injuries (as I knock on wood).  I did take a couple of sick days early in 2017, but have done pretty well since then.

11 - What is the best thing you bought?

I didn't really make any great material purchases in 2017.  It will come as no surprise to most that the best thing I bought for myself was dance lessons.  I am pretty happy with the Christmas present I bought for my best friend this year.  Over the years it can be a little difficult to find the right gift, so I end up reverting to gift cards.  This year though, I found a gift that was perfect to symbolize and celebrate her year with her family.

12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

I think about three people specifically whose behavior, in my opinion, is commendable.  Without naming them specifically, I will say that all three of them have been very willing to step up and go way out of their way to help others.  In some cases these are not just the "favors", but truly going above and beyond to help out when they can.

13 - Where did most of your money go?

Dancing and running.

14 - What did you get really really really excited about?

Do I really need to say "dancing" or is just implied at this point?

15 - What song will always remind you of 2017?

My dance instructor has a tendency to stick to a lot of the same songs in our lessons.  So, any of those songs will stick in my head.

16 - Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

I'm not sadder.  Don't know if I can say that I'm happier really.  I was pretty good this time last year and still have that same general optimism.

17 - What do you wish you'd done more of?

More running.  A lot of times this year I allowed myself to give in to excuses not to get out and run.  I need to continue to get out on the roads.

18 - What do you wish you'd done less of?

I think I'm good in this regard.

19 - What's your favorite TV program?

One of the things I've done this year was get rid of cable television.  I've got an antenna on all of my televisions.  Because of this, I actually do watch less television. 

20 - What was your favorite film this year?

Nothing really stood out in 2017,  Didn't do a lot of movie-going this year.

21 - What was the best book you read?

I didn't read any books in 2017

22 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

I think I'd laugh if anyone asked me that question out loud. But it basically boils down to asking someone else to buy me clothing that they think would look good on my.

23 - What kept you sane?

Running/Dancing/Spending quality time with friends.

24 - What political issue stirred you the most?

I've grown tired of politics in general.  I've become jaded, or maybe a better word is realistic, about politics.  To coin a line from a movie, politicians are more interested in keeping their jobs than they are about doing their jobs.

So there's your ghost of 2017 past.

If They Only Understood

In 2008 I re-discovered running.  I guess I should really say that I discovered the joy of running in 2008.  I had run in high school and when I was in the Army, but I hated it.  In 2006 I started running more in order to keep in shape, but still didn't care much for it.  It was 2008 when a couple of friends talked me in to running the Dam Fool 4 Miler and got me hooked on running races.  Since that time I've run 5 Marthons (The Myrtle Beach Marathon, The Columbus Marathon three times and the New York Marathon).  I've run close to 40 or 50 Half Marathons and a couple of hundred races of shorter distances.  During that time I couldn't understand why people didn't want to run.  I apparently had formed some type of amnesia, forgetting how much I had hated running earlier in my life. I could not fathom why it was that my friends and co-workers didn't want to run with me.  It was fun!  Others didn't see it that way, but I tried to convince them.  If only they would give it a try, they would find the joy that I had found.

Fast forward eight years.  In an effort to "expand my horizons", "try something new", "get outside of my comfort zone", I signed up to take Beginners Ballroom Dancing through the Dublin Recreation Center.  A co-worker took the class with me so that it wouldn't be too awkward.  It was, most definitely, outside of my comfort zone.  Aside from a couple of "slow dances" when I was in school, you know those dances where you shuffle your feet back and forth and turn in a circle, I had never danced.

After I had gone through the six weeks worth of lessons, I still didn't feel any better about my dance abilities.  But that really wasn't the point anyway.  It wasn't like I was going to be going out dancing on a regular basis.  I was just trying something different.  But I sort of liked this new activity and decided to sign up again the next time around.  This time I liked it a little bit more.  I felt a bit more comfortable and, while it was still outside of my comfort zone, it was a little more.  So, I did it again.

As time went on I continued to do group classes and my instructor told me of someone she knew who wanted to take classes, but needed a partner.  So, not only am I dancing, but NOW I'm going to start taking lessons with someone I don't know....SURE...WHY NOT?  Nothing uncomfortable about that, especially for an introvert such as myself.  (Do you feel the sarcasm coming from the page?).  Let's throw something else in to the mix....let's start going to dance parties every month...and if that's not enough, let's have a different partner every time!  Yes...."Introverts Unite....In your own homes.....separately!"  has always been my motto, and now I've traveled so far outside of my comfort zone that it can't be seen in the rear view mirror.

The funny part of all of this is, that as uncomfortable as it is, I enjoy it.  As a matter of fact, I love it!  I love it so much that most of my co-workers are sick of hearing me talk about.  I love it so much that I also take individual private lessons and am planning on eventually competing in Dancesport competitions.

So, much like when I started running....I have been trying very hard to get my friends and co-workers to give it a try....find the joy of dancing.  I think people hear "ballroom dancing" and a certain picture comes to their mind.  Many have made fun of me for doing this...but I don't care.  If they only understood.  Some have called me "obsessed".  Maybe I am, but I don't care.  If they only understood.  Some people think I spend too much money on it...well it's not their money, it's mine...and if they only understood.

Running and dancing have both been activities that give me a release from the stress of my job.  Those who read my last blog entry know that things at my job can get bad.  It is considered one of the most stressful jobs out there.  Any day at any time, we can face the worst of what people can do to each other or themselves.  So think whatever you want about how I have chosen to get away from that stress.  Running and dancing have saved me from burning out more times than anyone knows.  They have both been more than worth the monetary cost.

It Was a Bad Day

I often tell my students that people do not call us to tell us that they are having a good day.  In a lot of situations, when someone calls to talk to someone in my line of work, they are calling on a bad day.  For many, it may be the worst day of their life.  Many don't understand the toll it can take on the dispatcher.  To listen to these calls, want so badly to jump through the phone and make everything alright, but know that the best you can do is send help and offer some type of reassurance.

Because of this, I work very hard to maintain a positive attitude.  I am a firm believer that, in most cases, you "choose your mood".  Anyone who knows me has figured out how I choose to work out my stress.

I'm a runner - I've run 5 marathons, nearly 40 half-marathons and numerous 5K's, 4 Mile, 5 Mile, 10K's and other running events.
I'm a "dancer" - I still put that in quotes, because I'm still new at the activity/sport, and I know I've got a LONG way to go to really be able to do it with any real amount of proficiency.

But regardless of how good or bad I am at either, both help me to relieve stress and keep that attitude.  When I have that occasional bad day, running and/or dancing help me to focus on something else, sweat out the bad mojo and move on.

Recently however, I ran in to one of those days where I just couldn't shake off the bad.  I was nearly done with my normal 8 hour shift.  Nothing out of the ordinary had really happened.  I had four more hours to go, as I had agreed to work part of a shift for a co-worker who needed the day off.  That's when the bad stuff started.  I took one of those calls that no dispatcher ever wants to take, but which all of us will take several times in our careers.  The wife screaming on the phone because she just found her husband in the back yard with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.  I wasn't the primary call-taker this day, but he was on another call, so I picked up.  I wished I hadn't.  It was difficult to listen to the caller as she spoke some of the last words she would ever say to her husband.

The next call came from a woman who found her husband unconscious in his car.  The doors were locked and windows rolled up, an empty bottle of vodka laying next to him on the seat.  As I processed the call for what I'm thinking is going to be an intoxicated unconscious person, my caller mentions that she thinks her husband might have also taken some pills.  Further questioning reveals that this too is a suicide attempt.  The reaction from his wife was much different than the previous call, which made it also difficult to comprehend.  I wasn't the primary call-taker this day, but she was on another call, so I picked up.  I wish I hadn't.

The next call came from an insurance company.  They had been talking to one of their customers.  The customer was upset over some issues.  She admitted to the customer service person at the insurance company that she was not taking the medication she needed.  The condition she had made her susceptible to harming herself.  She told the insurance company representative that she was just going to "blow her brains out." then hung up.  I was not the primary call-taker this day, but she was on another call, so I picked up.  I wish I hadn't.  After the previous two calls, it was difficult to imagine the possibility of having responders pull up to another call like this.

The next call came from a resident who started by simply saying over and over again, "I f***ed up".  I tried to find out more, but he wasn't saying much.  I thought I could hear bath water in the background.  I had a bad feeling.  All I could think was that my caller had slit his wrists and was sitting in a warm bath tub.  In the end, it turned out that I was right.  He had done exactly that.  The call turned even more stressful when the address he was giving me didn't appear to be correct.  I tried to get the caller to go to the door so my responders could find him.  He said he was, but I could still hear the bath water clearly in the background.  I wasn't the primary call-taker this day, but she was out of the room, so I picked up.  I wish I hadn't. Listening to someone so distraught that they believe the only alternative is to take their own life is stressful.  Taking it for the fourth time in just a couple of hours....well that's even more stressful, taking the call from the actual victim, trying to locate him, trying to connect with him, trying to convince him to help me to get him help. It's not easy, and saying or doing the wrong thing could mean someone dies.

The next call came from the mother of a teen.  She had received a call from a friend of her son saying that he was having a reaction to the marijuana he'd been smoking.  Mom couldn't say what the reaction was, but said it sounded to her to be more severe than a reaction to marijuana.  The friend then told mom that her son had "taken a couple hits of acid earlier."  To add to the confusion, mom did not know where her son was.  The friend could only tell her that he was at a park that was closer to some other park.  I was pretty familiar with the "other park" where he wasn't.  But had never heard of the park where the friend told mom they were.  I was not the primary call-taker this day, she was on another call, so I picked up.  I wish I hadn't.

In over 19 years doing this job, I've taken calls similar to all of the calls I took on this particular day.  We learn how to deal with them.  We work through the stress.  We run or dance or do whatever we do to relieve the stress.  But these five calls came in during a three hour time span.  Any one of them is a lot to deal with, but all five in three hours...they hit me.  It took a bit more time to work through.  I ran some, I danced some, I worked some, I prayed some and eventually I got to a point where I didn't obsess and moved past it.

I got a lot of encouragement and offers to listen from some great friends and co-workers, for which I am very grateful.

I do this job because I want to help people. But I hope I don't have to help quite so much in the future.

State #32 and Dancing

I was looking at  my  last blog entry and chuckled some at what I'd written. I wrote about how I had found joy in my latest new hobby/physical activity. What I chuckled at  was my  thought at the time that I probably would not use what I was learning outside of the class. Since then however, I have expanded my experience with dancing. Not only am I continuing with the group classes, but my instructor had another student who was looking for a dance partner and the two of us are sharing in the "Ballroom Dance  Experience". (See what I did there?)

Meeting a total stranger for the first time in a private dance lesson is yet another experience that pushed me outside my comfort zone. In addition to the group lessons, and the individual lessons with my new dance partner, I have also been going out to "Couples dance parties" at a studio in Columbus. This has involved spending a couple of hours dancing. Sometimes with total strangers. A bit outside of my comfort zone? ABSOLUTELY!

So this week I will start my  5th time through the Beginners Ballroom Class. After many attempts at getting my co-workers to join me, I've finally found someone willing to give it a shot. I've also decided to take another leap of faith and  push myself a bit further with dancing and see what it's like to get involved in showcases and dancesport. I honestly have surprised myself with how much I've come to enjoy and appreciate this artform.

Having said all of that, I have not given up on my other passion. I am  still running, and I am starting my  training for the 2017 New York Marathon. Having run this race last year, I know it will be one I will thoroughly enjoy. In addition to that race, I have a few more races  scheduled for this year.

This weekend I will be traveling to Gonzales, LA. There I will run the Jambalaya Festival 5K & 1 mile runs. Louisiana will be State #32 in my quest to run a race in all 50 States. In August I will run the Dublin Irish Festival 5K, as I do every year. In the fall things start  getting busier. I will be running the Ohio State 4 Miler  (Which finishes on the 50 yard line of The Horseshoe), The Nationwide Children's Hospital Columbus Half Marathon, and the New York Marathon. Thanksgiving weekend I will once again travel to Cocoa Beach, FL for my fifth and final running of the Space Coast Half Marathon. Then, in December, I will travel to Biloxi, MS for State #33 and the Gulf Coast Half Marathon.

So this is where I'm at. No one is ever too old to grow. No one is ever too old to try and  better themselves. No one is ever too old to change. 

Ballroom Dancing

Anyone who follows me on Facebook as probably seen me post a comment or two about taking Ballroom Dancing classes through the Dublin Recreation Center.  I decided to post this to my blog to give a little insight in to how this came about, how it's going and to give a little advertisement to the class.

My interest in learning a little bit about ballroom dancing really started a while back.  I was never something I ever really thought about seriously, just more of a "gee, it'd be fun to learn how to do that" sort of thing.  But I've got a friend who I work with that kind of inspired me to take the next step.  A girl that I work with makes a point of seeking out and taking interesting classes and always trying out new and different experiences.  So when I saw that the Dublin Recreation Center offered a Ballroom Dancing Class at a pretty reasonable rate, I decided to give it a try. 

Fortunately for me, the first time through, that same friend agreed to take the classes with me.  So, although I was outside my comfort zone, having someone taking the class with me who I was comfortable with made it a bit easier.  I will be honest and say that, had she not joined me for the class I might not have taken that first step, or wouldn't have continued after that.  What probably helped me though, was that my friend (we'll call her "Caitlynn"....well, that's because her name is Caitlynn) had to miss a couple of the classes.  Because of that, I was paired up with the instructor for those couple of classes.  Gaining a little bit of a comfort level with the instructor ending up working out well for me, as it gave me the courage to go ahead and sign up again without being accompanied by Caitlynn and knowing that I would either be doing a lot of dancing with the instructor, or possibly be paired up with someone I don't know if another student signed up as a single instead of part of a couple.

I've really come to enjoy the classes...I must, because I just started my third round of the beginner's class and as well as my first round through the intermediate class.  Some of what I've been learning is what I thought I'd be learning, and some of what I'm learning is nothing like I thought it would be.  The dancing will definitely have you breaking a sweat.  I may never use any of what I learn outside of the class, but that's ok.  

I'm having fun.  I really look forward to the classes on Thursday evenings.  

I'm meeting new people.  Dancing is obviously a social event.  I probably won't become life long friends with anyone I meet in these classes, but it's always good to get out and socialize.

I'm exercising.  Anyone who knows me knows just how much I love running.  Running is a big part of my life.  But it's been great finding another physical activity that I like as much as I like running.

One of my former high school classmates and a facebook friend mentioned to me that she and her husband had tried taking ballroom dancing, but got disenchanted because the instructor was too critical.  I will say that the instructor for this class (Emily Mertens) is not that way.  While she is working to teach the right way to dance, she also works to make sure the classes are fun and social.  

As I said, I may never use any of what I learn outside of the classes.  But I'm having fun and enjoying myself..