Recently I asked several people to answer two questions for me. The people represent different parts of my life. Some were friends, some co-workers, some supervisors, some family. The main reason I asked the questions was to find out if I really saw myself the way others see me. The questions I asked were: What do you think is my greatest strength? and What do you see as my greatest weakness?
Without revealing who said what, here were the answers I got from those who responded:
Strengths:
"Honesty is huge. But for you I would say it is your determination. Look at your life. From weight loss to running now to dancing. So for me I would say determination."
"Self Awareness"
"People skills. You always think outside of the box, you never jump to conclusions, you form your own opinion, you strive to help people succeed..."
"The courage to try new things."
"Kindness"
"Loyalty, compassion, caring, faith, focus"
"Your ability to see the positive and your ability to play devil's advocate."
"I would say that your greatest strength is that you are caring and kind."
"You are an inspiration to others because you work hard to go after what you want without caring what everyone else thinks. You are also kind."
"If you're applying for the job of a dance partner, I'd say it's your great memory and ability to quickly apply/incorporate what you've been taught. I think you are a great listener, and that you care about people. You are loyal and willing to take risks."
"Your passion and enthusiasm in everything you do."
"Dedication. You are dedicated to your friends, co-workers and anything you put your mind to."
"Loyalty."
"Your humor and wit. You think fast on your feet and even find ways of keeping things tastefully lighthearted. Things don't seem to bother you much, or you appear to brush things off easily."
Weaknesses:
"You give in and tend to conform. You are non-confrontational and, at times, it has allowed people to use you."
"Consistency/Diligence"
"All the OT you work. Just say no"
"Being more open with others."
"Being so kind often means you allow yourself to be taken advantage of."
"Socially timid, introvert, quietness"
"Holding back something you should say or do because of a fear that it will negatively impact what that person thinks of you."
"I would honestly have to say that I have not seen your weakness."
"Your kindness is also a weakness because it makes it difficult for you to make tough choices because of how it will affect someone."
"Can't think of weaknesses. I am a very guarded person...so don't allow you to relax and show your whole self with me."
"Passiveness/Lack of Self Confidence. It keeps you from unlocking everything you're capable of accomplishing."
"Sometimes you care too much for what others may think."
"Too nice."
"You seem closed off a lot. Keeping your personal business to yourself is a good asset, but when people feel distanced from you, it can be a hinderance. It seems like you set yourself as a priority, which is great, but it also pushes others out. I understand if you're just being guarded or protective, but it can be perceived as 'an attitude'."
Without revealing who said what, here were the answers I got from those who responded:
Strengths:
"Honesty is huge. But for you I would say it is your determination. Look at your life. From weight loss to running now to dancing. So for me I would say determination."
"Self Awareness"
"People skills. You always think outside of the box, you never jump to conclusions, you form your own opinion, you strive to help people succeed..."
"The courage to try new things."
"Kindness"
"Loyalty, compassion, caring, faith, focus"
"Your ability to see the positive and your ability to play devil's advocate."
"I would say that your greatest strength is that you are caring and kind."
"You are an inspiration to others because you work hard to go after what you want without caring what everyone else thinks. You are also kind."
"If you're applying for the job of a dance partner, I'd say it's your great memory and ability to quickly apply/incorporate what you've been taught. I think you are a great listener, and that you care about people. You are loyal and willing to take risks."
"Your passion and enthusiasm in everything you do."
"Dedication. You are dedicated to your friends, co-workers and anything you put your mind to."
"Loyalty."
"Your humor and wit. You think fast on your feet and even find ways of keeping things tastefully lighthearted. Things don't seem to bother you much, or you appear to brush things off easily."
Weaknesses:
"You give in and tend to conform. You are non-confrontational and, at times, it has allowed people to use you."
"Consistency/Diligence"
"All the OT you work. Just say no"
"Being more open with others."
"Being so kind often means you allow yourself to be taken advantage of."
"Socially timid, introvert, quietness"
"Holding back something you should say or do because of a fear that it will negatively impact what that person thinks of you."
"I would honestly have to say that I have not seen your weakness."
"Your kindness is also a weakness because it makes it difficult for you to make tough choices because of how it will affect someone."
"Can't think of weaknesses. I am a very guarded person...so don't allow you to relax and show your whole self with me."
"Passiveness/Lack of Self Confidence. It keeps you from unlocking everything you're capable of accomplishing."
"Sometimes you care too much for what others may think."
"Too nice."
"You seem closed off a lot. Keeping your personal business to yourself is a good asset, but when people feel distanced from you, it can be a hinderance. It seems like you set yourself as a priority, which is great, but it also pushes others out. I understand if you're just being guarded or protective, but it can be perceived as 'an attitude'."
Apart of trying to see if I view myself as others do, another reason for this was to see if I am able to accept the good things people think of me without trying to somehow minimize it, while also accepting the negative things people think of me without becoming upset or defensive.
Interestingly, as I looked at all of the results, I had two thoughts. One thought was that, yes, I can see these traits in myself, both the positive and the negative. The second thought was when I realized that, for the most part, I only asked people who I am fairly sure see me in a positive light. But that's not true. Several people didn't answer the questions when asked. Some, I think, view me in a positive light. Some however, are more neutral or even negative in the way they view me as a person. So my "greatest weaknesses" in the light of those who do view me in a positive light, tend more towards the positive. If most see my greatest weakness as being "too nice" then is that really a weakness?
I would have liked to have heard more from some others. But I've also realized something else. What matters is not really what people think of me. What really matters is what I know to be the truth. John G. Bennet said, "Since we tend to see ourselves primarily in the light of our intentions, which are invisible to others, while we see others mainly in the light of their actions, which are all that's visible to us, we have a situation in which misunderstanding and injustice are the order of the day."
So I ask this of those who know me, I'm not a perfect human being, but my intent is rarely negative. So I will attempt to view your actions in the light of your intentions, and minus that knowledge I will assume positive intent. Please afford me the same courtesy.
