As I finished 2017 and started 2018 I had found myself in a bit of a funk. Not really sure why, as I find the Christmas and New Year holiday season to be one of my most cherished times of the year. I found myself having to remind myself of something I tell my students when I teach. You choose your mood.
If you have known me for any length of time, you have probably heard me say this. I am a firm believer that for at least 95% of the time you have the power to choose to be in a good mood. So why be in a bad mood if you can simply choose the opposite? There are some people out there who seem to thrive on always being in a bad mood. If I'm in a good mood, nobody really pays attention to me. They can tell by the way I interact with them that I'm in a pretty good mood. But if I'm in a bad mood, then people pay attention. Think about it...people are asking "Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Why so glum?". No one ever asks, "Why so happy?" So if you're in a bad mood, grumpy, sad, feeling down, feeling sorry for yourself...then the attention comes your way.
I admit that I used to do it myself occasionally. Until I got called on it. One of those times when I was feeling sorry for myself a friend finally got sick of hearing it. She told me to suck it up. If I wasn't happy with the way things were...change them. It was a wake up call for me. It made me realize that I was making myself miserable. The circumstances weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse. The circumstances could be changed. The people weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse. I could change the people I chose to surround myself with. The weather wasn't making me miserable....it was an excuse. I could change the wea....OK..well I couldn't change the weather. But I could change the way I reacted to nearly every situation.
Circumstances around any person on any given day can give that person a reason to be in a bad mood. I could look at the weather outside and focus on how cloudy it is. It's raining/snowing/sleeting. On top of that, I'm stuck here at work for a 16 hour shift. Or, I can think about the fact that it is above the freezing mark for the first time in a while. The rain is washing all of the salt and crud off of my car and off of the roadway. The running paths will be clear of snow and I can hit the trails again soon.
I hear some people in my head right now saying, "Easy for you to say...you don't have my life." You're right, it is easy for me to say. You're right, I don't have your life. But I know this, most of those people could find the cloud in any silver lining. If you're always the one complaining, if you are always the person looking for the mistakes others make or the worst of any situation, please don't be surprised when I distance myself. That's simply me "choosing my mood."
Now this does not mean that, simply because you happen to be in a bad mood, that I'm going to cut you off. Not at all. I'm going to be there for the people who are close to me. But if you are always a Debbie or Doug Downer, always finding the cloud in the silver lining, always looking for the worst in any situation, then I have to protect myself. There's a difference between selfishness and self-preservation.
If you have known me for any length of time, you have probably heard me say this. I am a firm believer that for at least 95% of the time you have the power to choose to be in a good mood. So why be in a bad mood if you can simply choose the opposite? There are some people out there who seem to thrive on always being in a bad mood. If I'm in a good mood, nobody really pays attention to me. They can tell by the way I interact with them that I'm in a pretty good mood. But if I'm in a bad mood, then people pay attention. Think about it...people are asking "Are you ok?" "What's wrong?" "Why so glum?". No one ever asks, "Why so happy?" So if you're in a bad mood, grumpy, sad, feeling down, feeling sorry for yourself...then the attention comes your way.
I admit that I used to do it myself occasionally. Until I got called on it. One of those times when I was feeling sorry for myself a friend finally got sick of hearing it. She told me to suck it up. If I wasn't happy with the way things were...change them. It was a wake up call for me. It made me realize that I was making myself miserable. The circumstances weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse. The circumstances could be changed. The people weren't making me miserable...they were the excuse. I could change the people I chose to surround myself with. The weather wasn't making me miserable....it was an excuse. I could change the wea....OK..well I couldn't change the weather. But I could change the way I reacted to nearly every situation.
Circumstances around any person on any given day can give that person a reason to be in a bad mood. I could look at the weather outside and focus on how cloudy it is. It's raining/snowing/sleeting. On top of that, I'm stuck here at work for a 16 hour shift. Or, I can think about the fact that it is above the freezing mark for the first time in a while. The rain is washing all of the salt and crud off of my car and off of the roadway. The running paths will be clear of snow and I can hit the trails again soon.
I hear some people in my head right now saying, "Easy for you to say...you don't have my life." You're right, it is easy for me to say. You're right, I don't have your life. But I know this, most of those people could find the cloud in any silver lining. If you're always the one complaining, if you are always the person looking for the mistakes others make or the worst of any situation, please don't be surprised when I distance myself. That's simply me "choosing my mood."
Now this does not mean that, simply because you happen to be in a bad mood, that I'm going to cut you off. Not at all. I'm going to be there for the people who are close to me. But if you are always a Debbie or Doug Downer, always finding the cloud in the silver lining, always looking for the worst in any situation, then I have to protect myself. There's a difference between selfishness and self-preservation.
